A Mohr-atorium, please

Somewhere between his performance as an arrogant sports agent in Jerry Maguire and his performance as an arrogant sports agent in a Diet Pepsi commercial (this guy has range!), Sports Illustrated saw fit to give Jay Mohr a column called "Mohr Sports" on its Web site.

Mohr had a short-lived talk show (also called "Mohr Sports") on ESPN, and he's been on Jim Rome's radio and TV shows a number of times. In those endeavors, he showed that his greatest contribution is playing a smart-alecky know-it-all type who probably knows a lot more about sports than he lets on, because he'd prefer to talk smack.

Now he's evidently being paid to reprise that role in writing. Mohr, who once provided the voice of Christopher Walken on an episode of The Simpsons, has now won the role of Skip Bayless in print.

Among his column titles this year are "I couldn't care less about the Olympics" and "I'm ticked off the Chiefs hired Herm before calling me." Also, witness his most recent effort, "NBA All-Star Game and 'events' have become a joke":

Was the NBA All-Star Game on this year? I must have missed it. Maybe it was
because there was just too much great television to watch instead of the NBA's
mid-winter classic. Like reruns of 30 Minute Meals with Rachael
Ray on theFood Network or that show on Telemundo where the guy dresses
up in a bumblebee costume.

For years the NBA All-Star Game has been completely irrelevant.
Long ago, fans began tuning out the league's best players playing bad
basketball. For too long the stars have embraced an all-offense and no-defense
approach, and this is one of the many reasons it has become
unwatchable.

If you disagree with me, then explain why the All-Star Game was shown
on TNT, sandwiched between Steven Seagal movies. It's because it stinks. The
"events" that lead up to the game stink too. The slam dunk contest is a
perennial snore. Even when it is won by New York Knicks rookie Nate Robinson,
who at 5-foot-9 is barely tall enough to ride the log flume at your
local amusement park.

The column is deliciously ironic. Because given the life span of "Mohr Sports," it was obvious that more people preferred The Food Network and Telemundo to that program as well. Irrelevant, unwatchable and perennial snore would probably be an apt description of much of Mohr's work as well.

Oh, and the shot he takes at Nate Robinson about being barely tall enough to ride the log flume at an amusement park? Mohr is 5-foot-7 1/2.

DJ